


Asuka's Quarantine Visit

by RealityJones



Series: The Man Who Sold the World [2]
Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Angst, Chapter Related, F/M, Guilt, Hospitalization, Interlude, Side Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:33:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25638100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RealityJones/pseuds/RealityJones
Summary: Asuka visits Shinji while he is again comatose and quarantined following the attack of the Twelfth Angel where she reflects on her actions and how they affect her fellow Pilot.
Relationships: Ikari Shinji/Souryuu Asuka Langley
Series: The Man Who Sold the World [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858537
Kudos: 18





	Asuka's Quarantine Visit

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally supposed to be the beginning of a main chapter, but I felt it didn't carry enough continuity to be a main chapter, as well as I felt that it was a bit boring to have as the follow-up to Chapter 10. I do feel it was good enough to be posted, though, so please feel free to read it as a little side story that isn't necessary while I work on further Chapters.

“ _You are the only one…”_

Asuka uncrossed her legs just to cross them again in the opposite order. This would be the tenth time she has done it in the past five minutes, and it was clear that she was restless. She wouldn’t admit it out loud, but she was scared. Scared of losing him. 

Shinji was being kept inside a quarantine containment unit, under Ritsuko’s recommendation: “We have no idea what happened to him in there, we need to isolate him.” Asuka hated her. Perhaps ‘hate’ was a bit too strong, disdain would be a better word to describe the feeling. In hindsight, yes, Misato was being too emotional. But if this issue was due to emotional connection to Shinji, why wasn’t either of the Pilots pulled out too? Asuka thought about this (what else was she to do when her lover was currently hospitalized and quarantined?), and she determined that they needed both of the Evas in case the Angel attacked. _Or some crap like that…_ Asuka thought that was a bit silly as well. N2 mines would be dropped onto the Angel, _onto Shinji_ , and the only two other Pilots with functional Evas would be roughly a mile away? That was illogical. Sure, they might be safe for a minute or two, but the entire city would likely be destroyed, the Evas would eventually melt, the Pilots would die, but hey, at least the Angel is dead, right? Right. Asuka was beginning to see why Shinji didn’t like his father. What kind of man gives an order to drop some of humanity’s most destructive weaponry directly on top of his very own son? _Gendo Ikari,_ Asuka gave a short, silent laugh, _father of the year right there…_

Asuka studied the comatose boy’s face. It was still. Too still, almost as if he was dead. It stirred up an image within her mind, one she never wanted to see: Shinji lying in an Entry Plug, but he was wearing a suit and the inside of the Plug was cushioned like a coffin. She couldn’t admit it, but she knew that this was the most likely outcome for each of the Pilots. To fall in the battle for humanity, to defend a city against giant monsters. She shook her head to try to regain her focus on his features: Shinji’s hair had grown quite a bit; it was starting to cover his ears and would definitely begin to fall in front of (or inside of) his eye. It made him more masculine in Asuka’s eyes, _Maybe I can ask them not to cut it, if it doesn’t interfere with any procedures it should be fine, right?_ Shinji’s face looked older, too. His cheeks were beginning to thin, and his jawline was becoming more defined. He was also growing some stubble, it was a bit rough and patchy, but it was clear that some was coming through. Shinji Ikari was becoming her kind of man in appearance, at least. 

At that moment, her heart sank. He was finally becoming exactly what she wanted, something she could mold and shape into something strong and confident. She could finally sculpt a masterpiece - _her_ masterpiece-. _Happiness…_ Asuka realized that for most of her life, she had felt angry or dissatisfied or sad. There were few moments of happiness, and he brought quite a few. Whether it was laughing at his mistakes or how he made her feel in those intimate, hungry moments, when he stole a side glance at her and she’d pretend not to notice, the times he’d listen to her and no one else, the moments where he was only her’s and she was only his. She tried to think of another moment of happiness, but to no avail. Whenever Asuka thought of her family, she always somehow found a way to think about _her_. It probably would always remain that way. She was afraid, she was desperate, she was lonely. She didn’t want Shinji Ikari to become lost in the sea of depression and anger that filled her mind. That happened once, and she never wanted it again. Never again.

_“You are the only one”_

Asuka wondered what he always listened to on his SDAT. It was outdated, and she had much more music on her XDAT. But when she asked why he never upgraded, he simply said, “ _It was my mother’s”_. Asuka didn’t know what it felt like. She actively tried to forget her mother every moment she could -which was quite successful with Shinji around-, so she never held onto any keepsakes that could remind her. It was a nightmare she’d never want to relive, but she did on sleepless nights and days where she felt more happy than usual. But Asuka never really thought about her mother when Shinji was around, afterall he didn’t remember his mother or her death, even though he watched it happen. She couldn’t imagine forgetting everything about her mother. At a time, she would have done anything to, but upon hearing Shinji’s nonexistent memory of his own mother she realized that it was a terrible thing. Losing the happiness you gain from someone when they die is horrible, a terrible pain that nobody wishes to experience. But losing all happiness gained, and not even remembering how it was lost? 

Asuka rubbed her upper arms. This place was freezing. She guessed that was how it should be, infectious diseases spread slower in the cold, right? But this was different, she knew it was different. He would be different than he was before he was swallowed by the Twelfth Angel. There would be changes.

*Click* The SDAT was silent, but for only a moment as she had already clicked the rewind button. The sounds of fake mechanical whirrs filled her ears as she patiently waited for the music to continue. She remembered this song because it was playing right before they kissed for the first time. It was an amazing moment for her, if not at first awkward and very gross, but the discomfort was only temporary as the rest of the night she was filled with a feeling of happiness. She unconsciously smiled.

“You are the only one… Shinji…”

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End file.
